Saturday, May 17, 2008

Tuesday, May 13 Quartzsite, Arizona

It’s 7:53 am and it looks like it’s about noon outside.  The sun is up and I was woken by Addison at about 6.  I guess it was time to get up whether I wanted to or not.  So now we are watching the Sopranos (all the Sopranos reminds me of is being 8-9 months pregnant, sitting in our apartment in Alaska with McFlurries watching all 6 seasons of this show- it’s completely addicting, especially when you are über pregnant and can’t really do anything) and hoping to not do much of anything today.  God, it’s SO hot here.  I complain a lot about it.  Damn it.  I try not to, but it just sort of happens.  How can you NOT complain about the heat?  Especially when you just moved from Alaska to the Lower 48.  Yes, I said it.  The LOWER 48!  Bwahaahahha.  I’ve come to learn that most lower 48’ers don’t like it when I call the “mainland” the “lower 48”.  Yeah, whatever.  Get over it!  A lot of people think Alaska is part of Canada!  Hell, the military considers Alaska to be “overseas”.  I’m thinking people are kind of dumb. 

Ah, speaking of dumb people.  On our way to the Grand Canyon we stopped at a gas station and proceeded to break the computer system with our credit card.  Apparently gas stations out in the sticks don’t like Alaska Airline credit cards.  So while we are sitting there waiting for the payment to go through, the car was left at the pump with the keys turned in the ignition, but the engine wasn’t running.  So the payment finally goes through and we bought some sandwiches and get back to the car only to find that the battery is dead.  Not AGAIN!  (Yeah, this same exact thing also happened while we were driving down the California coast… damn it.)  So I pop the hood and hook up the jump cables and walk inside to see if anyone can give us a jump.  The guy at the counter gives me this confused look and says that he can call someone to come get us.  Uhm… all we need is a car that will start!  I told him this and he looked confused again and then told me that we probably wouldn’t want to use his car because it has electrical problems.  What?  Like it’s contagious and going to infect our car?  Finally, one of the women that worked there brought her truck around gave us a jump.  But seriously… is it THAT difficult to jump start a battery??

I think we are going to go to the bookstore today.  I finished reading my book, so now I need something else to keep me preoccupied whilst driving through wastelands and feeding my daughter.  Or for when I’m just bored.  I love books. J  The Quartzsite book store is owned by a nudist.  I am SO going to get my picture taken with him!!!  He has an amazing tan and he’s super skinny.  He wears a banana hammock during the day while he is working though.  So that’s a relief.  I don’t really feel like looking at his ba-COCK, his scrum-diddly-um-tious, his cash-and-prizes.  (Yes, I was just channeling Dane Cook.)  I guess some people were in his store a while ago and he bent over, exposing his back door and they got really offended.  What do you expect when you are in the company of a nudist?  I think it’s pretty awesome that he can do that!  It’s his store, it’s his private property, and the town is behind him!  So either go in there with an open mind, or leave, it’s no place for you.  According to Granny, people come from all over to see him.  There is a video about him on youtube.com somewhere.  Granny showed it to us when she went up to Alaska for our wedding.  I never thought I’d get a chance to meet him!  Excellent… I’m going to meet a real-life nudist!  Well, I best be off to take my shower.  It’s nice and windy outside so hopefully it won’t be too hot today.  Or maybe that is just wishful thinking.  Probably.

Tuesday evening-

Okay, so we had a change of plans.  It was cooler today so Nick, Addison and I made our way down to Mexico.  Granny was still hung over from Sunday night so she stayed home.  We parked and walked across the border only to see more dentists than I have ever seen in my life!!  We walked through the town of Algodones and bartered with some of the vendors.  We bought a dress and a little vest for Addison that will be excellent for playing Cowboys and Indians!

We went to one of the restaurants.  We were looking for Italian but didn’t find any.  (HA!  No, not really.)  So we come to find out that Mexico has some really good Mexican food!  J  Nick and I shared a pitcher of margaritas and felt pretty damn good afterwards!  Then we walked around and looked at all the shit they were trying to sell.  Nothing was of very good quality.  At all.  I almost bought some fake Chanel sunglasses but they were so cheaply made that I couldn’t justify it. 

Everybody was touching Addison.  The only reason I didn’t smack every person that touched her was because I knew it was a cultural thing.  It still bugged me though.  I don’t like strangers touching my baby!  They don’t see little red headed babies all that often.  When I was a baby I had some exceptionally blonde hair (platinum).  We lived in Texas and I was sitting in the HEB (the Uvalde grocery store) shopping cart while my mom was buying groceries. According to my mother, a Hispanic woman came up to me and she started putting her hands all over my face.  My mom was wholly appalled when she saw this, I don’t know what she did but later on she learned that Hispanics do this to bless the light haired babies.  Don’t ask me why, I don’t know, but this was the only reason I was able to relax a bit when everyone was trying to manhandle my daughter!  I can’t really blame them for wanting to touch her though, she’s just THAT adorable!  

On our way back from Mexico we stopped on some road out in the middle of nowhere and flew the kite for a bit.  It’s one of those big 9 foot kites that in the right wind will drag you along.  It was so neat!  I had never flown one of those big ones before!  I crashed it a lot, heh… oops.  We drove to the end of the road and ended up in the “mountains”, if you can call them that.  It reminded me of that movie The Hills Have Eyes and it really crept me out.  All I could really think of was a tire blowing while we were out in the middle of nowhere with no cell phone service and these weird deformed people coming out of the hills trying to rape and eat us.  AHH!  Yes, I do have an overactive imagination… (but we can go into that later).

We got back on the road.  It was straight as an arrow and had the sort of dips in it where your stomach flips/tickles and you can really feel the G’s!  So Nick was driving along at about 90 mph to hit those dips (they are way more fun at high speeds).  We made it over one dip and oh look!  Here comes a state police officer!  He caught Nick on the radar going 88 mph in a 55 zone.  Oops.  Nick dropped the “I just got out of the service” line and the cop dropped 30 off his speed.  The hubby now has a ticket for “waste of finite”.  What the HELL does that mean?!?!  Once I get on the “series of tubes” (internet- for those not in the know on the Bush-isms) I am going to look it up on “the google” (another Bush-ism).  Apparently it’s supposed to mean he was going less than 65 in a 55 zone, which brought Nick’s ticket down from a criminal offence to a citation.  The fine would have been $600!!!  We will find out in about a week what this fine is going to be.  At first I was just thinking my husband was a dummy, but now it’s starting to be rather amusing!

We stopped by Nick’s grandparents place and Granny cooked us up some tasty pork chops.  We got into another political argument over dinner.  This was another squabble about illegal immigrants.  Honestly, a rat’s ass is something I don’t really want to give when it comes to border jumping Mexicans!  We have bigger fish to fry, damn it!!  How about some sort of national health care?  How about our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan?  How about trying to control some of this corporate boom that is obliterating small town America?  How about America’s imperialism?  How about the sky-rocketing prices of food?  How about these fucking gas prices???  Needless to say, Granny was not too amused with our thoughts and beliefs on politics.  There is no reasoning with that woman!!  J 

So now we are sitting back in our mobile home (I refuse to ever buy a mobile home!!!).  Addison finally went to sleep a little while ago.  Tomorrow we are planning to make a visit to the nudist book store owner!  Granny is going to come with us since she’s friends with him.  Other than that, I have no clue what our plans are for tomorrow.  God, I’m getting old.  It’s only 9:30 pm and I’m practically ready for bed!  What’s up with that?

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